tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32816535305816912552024-03-05T15:39:57.455-08:00Uncle Wilford's PorchFrom the rolling hills of Western Kentucky comes a character of unfathomable mental prowess. From the early 1960’s the opinions of this lunatic have been festering in his brain soup.
After roaming near and far, short and wide he has finally made up his mind to settle down. Most of his waking hours are now spent in his bent-wood rocker creaking slowly to and fro while sippin’ on his jelly jar of Jim Beam bourbon.Uncle Wilfordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05724742965260688969noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3281653530581691255.post-62521605957631308922009-09-19T06:39:00.000-07:002009-09-21T16:33:48.600-07:00Uncle Wilford asks more important questions!You just gotta check out Uncle Wilford's last line of questions. It hard to imagine a mind so deep that can come up with the questions this man can. Take a listen....Uncle Wilfordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05724742965260688969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3281653530581691255.post-52363962209696601882009-08-31T03:09:00.000-07:002009-08-31T03:24:46.370-07:00The Hoe and the CoonHowdy, ya sludge puppies. Eh, eh, Uncle Wilford here, uh-huh.<br /><br />Man, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">dawg</span>, last night was a freaky sight here at the porch. Me and Aunt <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Mally</span> was a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">sleepin</span>' away and about 3:30 AM the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">dadgum</span> dogs started a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">makin</span>' the worst fuss you ever <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">heared</span>.<br /><br />I jumped outta the bed and stuck my feet into my pair of red <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Crocs</span> and headed out on the porch to see what all the commotion was about. But, it was too dark so I had ta go back inside and fumble 'round fur the light switch.<br /><br />Finally <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">got</span> the porch light on an went back out to see what I could see. Them dogs was <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">rippin</span>' and a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">tearin</span>' at a blamed ole coon! Man was it <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">givin</span>' 'em fight! It was a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">screamin</span>' and a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">hissin</span>' something <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">fierce!</span><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected"></span><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected">I took off for the carport to get my hoe and then headed back to finish of the coon and shut them dang ole dogs up.</span><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected"></span><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected">Finally got the coon, which was ded now, away from the dogs and headed back to house.</span><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected"></span><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected">A standin' on the porch, AUnt Mally commenced to laughin' so I asked her what was so funny.</span><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected"></span><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected">She said, "Wilford, take a look at you. You is buck naked 'cept for dem red Crocs you is a wearin'!"</span><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected"></span><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected">Boy howdy, was I. Now that ain't a pretty mental image - Ole Uncle Wilford and his hoe a prancin' 'round in the porch light buck ass naked!</span><br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected">Toodle Do.....</span>Uncle Wilfordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05724742965260688969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3281653530581691255.post-39449102955662660172009-08-28T09:14:00.000-07:002009-08-28T09:23:05.538-07:00Healthcare my ass!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9CRjgAoEay4XT_iZ2ltPJmQGSNBuVvmqplTbv0fkVjfFbYN7I2ZJpO8HcRyWfw3tDD_GWr5QL5RxwXdn8ZlTVsMdDDeHUMXGlMT1Py46Qow-LGsFYyRiS4HftphuVsGjQVfBMqkE7u_Ct/s1600-h/prime.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 246px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5375050939849662562" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9CRjgAoEay4XT_iZ2ltPJmQGSNBuVvmqplTbv0fkVjfFbYN7I2ZJpO8HcRyWfw3tDD_GWr5QL5RxwXdn8ZlTVsMdDDeHUMXGlMT1Py46Qow-LGsFYyRiS4HftphuVsGjQVfBMqkE7u_Ct/s320/prime.jpg" /></a><br /><div>Now ain't this here some real pig doodie. The United State goverment is a thinkin' they can run the whole blame health care system. Well, I guess they ahve had some practice at it.</div><br /><div>I'm just makin' a comment.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Eh, eh Uncle Wilford here.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Yeah, they've had years of practice at health care. If you wanna little peek at how it would be just ask anybody who's a been doctored at a VA Hospital. Yeah, that's right, the Veterans Administration is just doin' a bang up job now ain't they? I'm just makin' a comment, now.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Uh, check back later for another new podcast cuz old Uncle Wilford well tell it like it is,</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Bye ya'll</div>Uncle Wilfordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05724742965260688969noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3281653530581691255.post-35100947332445875352009-08-22T18:24:00.000-07:002009-08-22T18:26:22.507-07:00Uncle Wilford PondersIn his debut episode, Uncle Wilford thinks aloud. If you can call what he does thinkin'! Better take a listen.Uncle Wilfordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05724742965260688969noreply@blogger.com0